When You Leave I Shall Not …

(version 2)
WHEN YOU LEAVE I SHALL NEVER

Fall to pieces,
A house of hearts deconstructed.
Nor shall I weep, no, not a trickle, I’ll
Dance as you waltz away.
Nor shall I deprive myself
Of joyous sleep,
Even though my eyes be saddened,
Stricken and smutted with tearful grief.
Trust me; I’ll dance as you waltz away.

(version 1)
WHEN YOU LEAVE I SHALL NEVER…

Fall to pieces, an undone house of hearts,
Nor shall I weep, not a trickle, I’ll
Dance as you walk away.
Nor shall I deprive myself
Of restful sleep even though my eyes
Be saddened, stricken,
And smutted with tearful grief, no, I’ll
dance as you walk away.
.

.

Poetic Asides prompt # 197, An Answer

About these ads

6 thoughts on “When You Leave I Shall Not …

  1. I think I like version to better, just feels more lively.. but at the same time the topic is somber and version one is more dense, and that works too. Nonetheless, lovely piece.

Your comments are very much welcome!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s